Stages in the aging process
- feeling immortal,
- first taste of aging,
- settling into maturity,
- shifting toward old age,
- letting things take their course.
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We can deal with this anxiety individually by living a day at a time, being present to what the day has to offer. If there is no sickness or any other problem, we can enjoy the day. Some people project themselves into a debilitating future and live in the anxiety of imagined woes to come.
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I don’t care what the calendar says. I have a strong youthful component in me, and often that person in his 40s seems to inhabit my body. Even when I look in the mirror, I sometimes manage to see more of the 40 year old man than the one who is 76. I’ve always been a strong believer in illusions.
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Simple, ordinary activities can improve your health and ease the black bile of melancholy that afflicts many older people. Take that walk in the woods, look for a sparkling lake or river, and don’t spend much time with negative people. We don’t realize how important it is to rely on nature for our health and mood, to think about the kind of people we have around us, and to understand the value of gardens and trees.
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The older years offer a perfect time to reflect more often, more deeply and more seriously on these important aspects of life. Of course, we need to begin this kind of reflection in our youth, but it can reach its depth in old age. Being part of a culture that has lost interest in profound ideas and intense reflection on experience makes aging more difficult.
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Being an elder not only helps other people find guidance and wisdom, but it also gives the older person added reason for living. It may be the final act of a generous and thoughtful life. It is service taken to the last moment and done with a special authority and dedication it helps if the older person consciously adopts the role of elder. I could say from my own experience that a certain point people begin to treat you as an elder and look for benefits that you may be able to give them.
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The poet Maya Angelou once wrote: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Thus legacy is a matter of the heart. It’s not an idea but a feeling connected to largely invisible people, it’s a special way of loving, and if there is anything that could make growing old more pleasurable, it would be to discover new ways to love.
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Reflection – – the first stage for an ordinary person is reading or listening to someone else offer an understanding of events. You listen or read and make those ideas your own in your own way. The second stage of reflection is conversation. You make a point to speak with people who have something worthwhile to say and with whom you enjoy speaking. A third stage of reflection is to find some effective mode in which you can express yourself it could be writing of various forms – – journals poems, essays, fiction…
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My Review of the Book
I am a bit of a cynic. Books like these discussing getting older are often written with the goal to alleviate the concerns and fears of elderly people as they approach death. The objectives when you get into your 70s and 80s are to find interests and things that will motivate you to stay alive or at least maintain your enthusiasm for healthy living.
While one can try to maintain a healthy attitude about life in your 70s and 80s, what’s more important are the states of your mind and your body. It’s critically important that you are not alone and that you do have some type of social network that hopefully includes family and friends.
It’s a comforting book with some useful bromides about topics like overcoming melancholy and leaving legacies. I don’t think there is one philosophy or set of rules to follow in life after 70. One of the things that I try to adjust to is the declining control I have in the direction of my life. I don’t have the physical, intellectual or mental energy I had a year ago and I expect that to continue to decline.
My five worst fears as I get older:
- Losing my wife
- Loneliness
- Dementia
- Disabilities and loss of health
- Running out of money
Esot-eric 