Rule 1: Don’t chase what you can’t catch.

Rule 2: Never step into a crowded elevator or an empty restaurant.

Rule 3: Never call customer service on a weekend.

Rule 4: Expect that every simple issue will take two, maybe three, maybe six or more calls.

Rule 5: Learn to say “thank you” in different languages.

Rule 6: Never let a friend—or anyone you love—cry alone.

Rule 7: Want a spiritual experience? Sit alone in a quiet church one hour before services. When services start, leave.

Rule 8: When you’re troubled, walk to the nearest bar. Don’t go in. Walk home.

Rule 9: Never stop a friend from repeating an old story.

Rule 10: Avoid fast-food joints or stores where no one on staff is sporting gray hair.